Summer Movies of 2013

a reversal of the wrath of khan

made me want to watch the wrath of khan because its just better then this
Dont get me wrong, i liked the reversal of roles that they did here, but the reversal wasnt as well done as what it was reversing from the wrath of khan

michael cera blows coke from start to finish, seth rogen does his thing, james franco has only one desire, emma watson beats the  @#!*%  out of 6 grown  @#!*%  men, jonah hill gets raped by a devil in his sleep, danny mcbride turns channing tatum into his sex slave after becoming a cannibal in post revalation hollywood, satan incarnate loses his dick to a gigantic beam from heaven, and then in the epilogue the backstreet boys have a reunion concert in heaven.

I liked the villain alot, and i liked that the mandarin turned out to be an actor
Using all the suits at once was great, and i really liked that 1 scene where hes under water and he uses the glove to pull himself up since you can do stuff like that with a suit like that
I also liked how tony had to fight without the suit, but at the same time i wish he was in the suit more

Its kind of weird that this takes place after the avengers because where was shield/the rest of the avengers when the president was in danger, i know they cant really do that in an iron man movie but they shouldve at least given them a reason for not being there

When pepper fell i knew she would be fine, i think that part wouldve been better if they kiled her off since i dont think anyone thought she wasnt going to be fine

It wasnt as dark as the 2nd movie either, the beginning is, with allens father dieing and the freeway giraffe massacre but other then that its not
Also there were too many animal killing jokes, 1 would be fine but with 3 or 4 it just came off as being cruel rather then dark

The story was pretty basic and predictable as well

I totes agree about the manderin pat, i liked that a lot
I thought it was really weird that they had Natalie Romanav play a none block widow character
turns out im an idiot and she wasn't in the movie cast at all.
i was so certain that she was the biologist. wtf. that annoyed me the whole time, how was i so far off.
Anyone. even with my delusions of actors and actresses being there that werent, it was a fun movie.
i liked the trils of doubt and insecurity that Tony went through. And that magnatized suit made me laugh when it managed to fail every single time tony tried to use it (at least i think it failed, was there ever a time he used it without the the falling apart? it definitely saved him once or twice, but not without fuck'n up in some way)

i really enjoyed watching this movie. i thought it was a lot of fun.
but at the same time i didn't really like the mechanics/physics of it.
I thought the whole 'earths atmosphere makes us stronger' thing was just silly. it was believable enough until they had Zod gain the same abilities after 5 seconds of exposure.
If all you needed was 25-75 oxygen Nitrogen mixture to double your strength, you think the super advanced species would'a figured it out in there bajilion years of space travel. and its probably not the nitrogen thats doing anything for him, so why didn't Superman just grab an Oxygen Mask and beat them all that way once he discovered the atmosphere was what did it.

And how the fuck does he became 'as weak as a human' when he's exposed to his original climate? 1 generation of adaption cant undo millions - billions of years of evolution.
Since we're a weaker species than SteelMenSuper's, it'd be like if we died when we went from living at sea level to living in Colorado or something.

They also never made an effort to explain any of the technology that the (Kriptonions?) used, which would have been fine. but then they made the bad guys Kriptonions using Kriptonion technology, so it would have been nice if there was some reasoning explained as to how the terraforming and weapons worked. But it was just magic lasers and magic gravity machines. and it works because magic.

That being said. it was still a fun movie.


At first i also didn't like the way they showed clarks father dying, cuz i felt like "well didn't you immediately start saving people in exactly those kinds of situations. yet you're still trying to retain the life lesson he gave you about not being revealed?"
but then i realized that he couldn't save his dad since he was surrounded by people that would recognize him and had known him from childhood (dat small town craziness) so it made sense that he could go around saving people when they only knew him for six month stretches but not there

I dont usually like zombie movies that much, but this one was pretty good.
i thought the way Israel managed to survive because of its walls and border control was really cool.

I really liked how the little kid grabbed the gun that his parents had and managed to kill a few zombies while he escaped. what a bad ass. i wish he had done something cool later in the movie. cuz that family was just a nervous wreck. after 10 minutes of uncontroled shacking it was like "jesus i get. you've all lost your shit and are asthmatic. move the camera to the people that can still move without being ordered too or carried"
(i didn't actually think that at the time. but i wanted to make fun of them in hindsight)

The 2 things i thought was silly was the was the way they were able to hold off the zombies in 'B wing' with that tiny little door that didn't even lock. because the zombies had broken through all sorts of things like that before. and if there was a non-locking door liek that, then i feel like there would have been other widows and doors the zombies could have used. and they proved repeatedly that they loved jumping out of widows, so i feel like they wouldn't have stayed continued like they were supposed to be. if they had just made it a more impressive door it would have been believable.

I also thought the way that 'Terminal people are rendered invisible' was one of the dumbest ways of beating zombies ever.
what possible explanation is there that having cancer or some terminal illness effects how others perceive you? Pheromones, blood, mucus, brains, skin, body oder, all stay basically the same.
I think this was a book before it was a movie, and maybe the book does a better job of making that make sense, but the way they portrayed it in felt like they were just say "death magic. poof."

this was considerably better than i thought it would be. it wasn't extraordinarily funny or anything, i just found it a lot of fun to watch.
Partly cuz they did a lot better job of making the mechanics/physics of the fantasy world make sense than i would have expected for how crazeh it was. My standerds were also much lower because it was a comedy, but still.
I especially liked how they eluded to a godlike being.
Made internal affairs extremely aloof and seem godlike.
And at the same time made it ambiguous whether things began/developed via emergence vs creation

i can understand why you wouldn't like them because of the wipe thing pat, but just see it as a parallel timeline--both existing and neither being destroyed.
Time makes much more sense to me when i think of it as all (or approaching all) possibilities existing and having to exist in 'unison' because: (Insert long chain reasoning that would make no sense even after i edited it)

I also split the movie up rather similarly as pat. the first 2/3rds were really good. especially the beginning, but the last 1/3rd was 'meh' to me. not because of the reversal though (i never saw wrath of khan so i was immune to that pain)
1: how does auxiliary power fail at the same time as main power? that is terrible terrible design. i realize the ship got f'd up pretty badly. but still. terrible design.
2: kirk is kicking the f'ing (warp core?) at the stupidest angle ever. the force of that kick would have done almost nothing to change its alignment.
3: when spock gets to the door that kirk is at its made to seem as if he's been sitting there for a minute or two with scotty looking on. and its only then that kirk closes the f'ing door that stops the radiation. Scotty even says 'the decontamination sequence hasn't finished yet' WELLL OF COURSE NOT. YOU LEFT HIM IN THERE WITH TEH DOOR OPEN. and finally spock sits down and kirk closes the door.
4: why the fuck do they need khan alive? they have 72 Khan bro's all ready to go. I know they said that MeCoy didn't know how to get them out alive from stasis. but that doesn't mean you couldn't obtain blood from them (i would think). and if nothing else desperate times = desperate measures. lets bring one out of stasis and hope that it works.

5: Scotty cant hold on to a rail with BOTH hands? who the fuck has a grip THAT weak. especially someone in shape enough to be sprinting and leaping through a ship thats in free fall towards earth with a 'gravity magic machine' gone out'a control.
5b: the fact that they dont all just die after scotty's grip fails.
lets set the scene: chekov is the only one on top of the walkway, using all his strength to hold 2 grown men from falling. Kirk is holding onto chekov with one hand and scotty with the other. scotty is holding onto kirk.
this means either chekov has to either stand and hoist up 350 pounds of human without ever letting go changing his grip, or scotty has to CLiIMB OVER KIRK and onto the walkway. and scotty has already proved his grip is too weak to maintain a static hold, let alone climb hand over hand.
(the camera then cuts and they're all free again)

I really enjoyed this movie, and im glad all those issues i have with it are relegated to a single portion.

Right after saying i didn't want to go into depth of details, im going to talk about details of the movie.
So, i was really annoyed right from the start.
Theres this woman that the bounty hunters have captive that they've been abusing.
And they then decide to release her. But they just shoot her as she's running away.
If they had just let her escape and meet riddick they could have had a whole dimension of character development, and dialogue, that was missing from Pitch Black, but because they just killed her off it made riddick a loner just like in pitch black and made the stories too similar IMO.

1. I could not get behind the she-elf and dworf love story. It just seemed so implausible in context with both the plot and background lore.
2. It made it even worse that it was between 2 worthless characters  that we didn't care about. I mean there's really no female characters in the hobbit at all that we're invested in, but they should'a thought of that in the first movie if they were going to use it as a plot tool.

3. Thorin Oakenshield is such a copy of Aragorn. I wish i had noted them for reference, but some of his lines were almost direct quotes from Aragorn's script. Itd be fine if he were a better version of Aragorn, but he's also just a terrible leader.
4. Who walks hundreds of miles, fights his way through infested mountains, nearly dies dozens of times, and then gives up when he has trouble opening a door. Especially since he's a dworf. and it seems pretty commonplace for dworves to make secret doors a pain to get through.
5. And then he doesn't even notice when Feely clearly has an infection or was poisoned (obviously poison, but they wouldn't know that).
6. Then half the dworves stay behind for no good reason. yet another example of copy-aragorns horrible leadership. But also the dworves own stupidity.
If your brother/friend is dying, then sure, someone needs to care for him and heal him (which one dworf already was). But then a bunch of others act as if this decision to hang back makes sense. Feely is dying because of the quest THAT THEY'RE ALL NOW ABANDOING. so you're dishonoring his memory/wishes, and also none of you are healers, so not going to be able to help at all.

7. Then whenever they cut back to that plotline it made me even more pissed off. Cus there was one line with gandolf (who doesn't love gandolf) 1 line with the draon (which i really liked) and this third hidious line with all the characters nobody knows or cares about.

8. why are they treating the ring the same way it was treated in lord of the rings? Im completely fine with the movie being a different story from the books, but using the ring and sauran as evil villains just seems like a really bad way to get people to re watch LoTR. Cus it stops characters like smaug and the(necromancer?) from being central to the story, despite the fact that they're the real center pieces and saraun/the ring dont matter.

1. Ya elf love story seemed thrown in at the last minute for there to be legolas (who is not in the books)
3. I didn't think thorin is such a copy of aragorn, aragorn is more of an always good guy, while thorin seems more greedy IMO
4. Ya the cave shit was 100% retarded.... I feel even if they gave up they would stay there you know.. not just walk home instantly.
7. i think sauron is the necromancer. And i think they added him, because in the hobbit story, there isn't much left to tell, so they need some padding.

A thing that really bothered me is the dragon. When you first meet him, he seems like really smart and like clever (He can smell the hobbit and the ring) Then your like omg this guys is deep shit, then after they like make him talk for 30 minutes like a retard, then he cant smell the dwarves when hes walkign right on top of them, then he gets fooled for horrible tricks then he like doesnt murder the hobbit when he has liek such an easy chance to do it.